oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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