so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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