Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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