No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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