It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
