I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
