Do vagina's smell?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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