nut hugger
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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