so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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