You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
