just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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