Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
