i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize