i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
