Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
don't judge my taste in strippers
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
