Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
