If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
