so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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