so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
