i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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