One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize