Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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