I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
