Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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