Fuck appropriateness.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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