I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
