epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
