I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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