do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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