i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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