last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize