i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
