I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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