addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
