I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Bring me that man meat
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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