I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
