Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
