marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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