Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
