It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
