i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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