Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize