exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
