Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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