my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
