Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize