Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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