theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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