I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
