Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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