Four minutes until I can fart!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
