u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
