That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
