then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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