there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
