oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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