the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize