How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize