What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I want a musical about memes.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
