wakey wakey hands off snakey
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
