Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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