I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
