We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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