Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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