Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
