Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
