She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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