the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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